A bunch of stuff.

I wonder how it's like to say 'I hate you' to someone.
D:
Cause once it's out, you can't take it back, and the impact lasts forever.
Does people who say that really hate the person forever?
I know that if I don't like someone now, it doesn't mean that I would still dislike the person next time.


Hmm, since this is my blog, should I complain about some people?
D:
......
Whatever.
She/He (Like why am I even bothering to attempt to hide her/his identity... =.= She/He wouldn't care and I wouldn't be surprised if she/he complained/scolds/insults me using my name in her blog. -.-) hurts my feelings too when she/he rants on about me on her/his blog/journal/dA, and she/he doesn't care about me anyway.
=.=
She/He said so herself/himself that she/he doesn't care whether people hate her/him or not and that she's/he's used to it, but it doesn't mean that she/he mustn't not care about others.
But heck, I don't hate her/him.
Not anymore and not yet anyway.
......
HOPEFULLY NEVER.
It hurts to lose a friend like her/him.


I'm finding it tiresome to be with people nowadays...
TwT
I'm stuck alone in college, and it's difficult to fit in with them personality wise.
Friends are hard to get, and hard to keep.
*sigh
I guess when I'm thrown into a group of strangers, I become introverted again.
D:
When I was in primary school, I was a loner, and comfortable being one.
Then in secondary, I decided that I should change, and I forced myself to make friends and be outward.
Now, I want to be alone, to be introverted again, but because of my secondary school experience, I think I'm afraid of loneliness now...
...No, afraid isn't the right word.
Uh...
I don't really enjoy loneliness as much as last time?
D:
*stabs my experiences with my friends
Why did I have so much fun...
TwT
But I think I want to go back being an introvert...
I told myself that I should get a 'childhood' at secondary school, and I would never stay young, so I should let myself go and have fun.
Well, it's college now.
I guess I'm all grown up and older now.
I guess I need to grow up, become more mature, and leave the unimportant things behind.
Being extroverted is actually tiresome and frightening for me.
Cause words and actions can do a lot of things, intentionally or not.
I don't want to end up giving emotional damage to someone because of a stupid move I made...
=.=


I just realized that I have no friends to depend on for physical and emotional matters...
orz
They're either not around anymore, not bothered, not capable, not close enough or completely oblivious.
=.=
So much for trying to be there for them all.


Considering to cosplay Kuroshitsuji next year...
orz
Not sure whether I want/am able to though...


I envy those who can just abandon their past friends just like that.
I wish that I could too just ignore and forget the old and get new ones.


I recently don't read much manga and watch much anime.
What am I to do with all my hidden stash of anime in my cupboard, and the hundreds of manga series in my computer...
D:
It's quite funny how something can seem so important to you for a while, then later on it means nothing.


I guess trying to be selfish doesn't work for me.
D:
Being harsh, straightforward and speaking up what's really on my mind doesn't work well either.


Trying to say 'I DON'T CARE' is too much for me to handle, no matter how many times I think of it...
So I can pretend that I care about it a lot...
Or I can just walk away.
8D
But some idiots cling on tighter unknowingly when you want to walk away...
-.-
No, it's probably not you.
The person I'm talking about probably wouldn't know I'm talking about him/her when he/she reads this.


College life is pretty sad, considering that it's a whole new thing...
But it's still fun.
I'd be there for only eight more months, and time passes by pretty quickly.
I guess it'd be worth it if I really throw everything away and concentrate on only my studies and family.
D:


I think I care too much.
I want someone to care for me instead.
*hint for potential boyfriends
8D


Someone recommend me some songs...
m(_ _)m


Mom's sleeping in front of the television again...
orz
*sob
I'm getting sleepy too, and I need to study, do homework and do notes tomorrow.
*sigh
Night~